Letter to Krystal
Posted: Tuesday, November 30, 2010
by Rose-Marie Chaperon
Chaperon Consulting, LLC
Last October while volunteering at a battered woman shelter in Missouri, I met a young lady who was a recent volunteer in an orphanage in Haiti, Due to privacy reasons; I will refer to her as Krystal. The goal of my visit to the shelter was to do a presentation on proper interviewing etiquette; instead I ended up making a friend.
As most people know, a women's shelter is a place of temporary refuge and support for women escaping violent or abusive situations, such as rape, and domestic violence. Having the ability to leave a situation of violence is valuable for those who are under attack because such situations frequently involve an imbalance of power that limits the victim's financial options. The most dangerous time for a domestic violence sufferer is on the point of exit. If their partner catches them on their exit then they are at the most risk of being seriously injured or killed.
During my one hour session on proper interview skills, 11 years old Krystal walked into the room and asked to speak with me. Krystal mentioned that she read my bio and was seeking answers to a few questions. "Do you believe that Haiti's children will be like America's children?" Do you think one day we could end world poverty? Wow, these questions took me by surprise; I was not expecting such loaded questions from an 11 year old girl. I decided to write a letter to Krystal.
Dear Krystal,
It was a pleasure meeting you yesterday and I look forward to talking to you again in the future. I will be brief in answering your question. I believe that one day; Haitian's children will see the light at the end of the tunnel. I believe that one day our children will be given their natural rights again. Natural rights, also called inalienable rights, are considered to be self-evident and universal. They are not contingent upon the laws, customs, or beliefs of any particular culture or government, one day, and one day it will be awarded to those in Haiti. Krystal unfortunately all the stories you have shared with me are true, and they bought shame on my country.
Story 1: Dirt poor Haitians eat cookies made of mud. Krystal, the incidence of childhood obesity is rapidly rising throughout the resource-rich world. In just two decades, the prevalence of overweight doubled for U.S. children ages 6 to 11--and tripled for American teenagers. About one-third of U.S. children are overweight or at risk of becoming overweight. In total, about 25 million U.S. children and adolescents are overweight or nearly overweight. The obesity epidemic is evident in the United States just 90 minutes from where there is no childhood obesity epidemic. Haiti is not plagued with this problem. Unfortunately, the mud pies were consumed to quench hunger pains.
Story 2: Children are abused and are forced into slavery and used as sex slaves. Unfortunately this is a worldwide problem, and Haiti has the short straw on that one. Krystal, The problem of child slavery in Haiti was an enormous one even before the earthquake. In terms of gross numbers, Haiti has more slaves than any other country in the Western Hemisphere. To be clear, first of all, about terminology, slaves are those forced to work, held through fraud under the threat of violence with no pay beyond subsistence. In Haiti, what we're talking about is a very particular form of child domestic slavery. This takes place when desperately impoverished, socially isolated rural parents give their children to traffickers in hopes that their children will be able to find a better life and some degree of education. In fact, what often happens is these children wind up in brutal domestic bondage.
Krystal, as far as ending world poverty, I've seen homeless people who wanted to be homeless and used all of the money they received (quite a bit too) on alcohol. And I've seen people fake lost limbs for money. I don't think the problem is that people are starving and so we should send money. I think the problem is that people do not care about others so they don't help them. Could we eradicate extreme poverty and hunger? Easily!! IF we could also eradicate selfishness and greed, or just make it so ridiculously easy to have food or money that no one was in such a position to not have enough. But richer cultures seem to be focused on a guilt-based mentality. There are indeed lots of people in need of help, but the way to go about it isn't to rant about how selfish people in our cultures are, but to "be the difference you want to see in the world," as Gandhi put it. A lot of good comes and is eventually beneficial to all, in making a "collective" effort to help people out of their poverty. Allowing them to survive is one thing. Helping them grow from there is one step further in the right direction. That can be done in many other ways… not just by throwing money at them! Social programs should be put in place to educate those who are less fortunate.
I believe in the power of giving. I'm not talking about an obsession with giving, but with the ability to make a difference in the lives of others. It's a powerful feeling to be able to help. It's a deep, nurturing, almost primal feeling. I think of mothers who demand "that their children are fed daily," and others who cry when they cannot provide for their family.
In my family we make it a point to help each other. I think of my family's stories from times when we have been able to always help others in the neighborhood. Why the urgency? Because we can't control the weather, we can't control accidents, we can't control those other people who are outside our families (and sometimes we can't even control our own families). When we go out the door we carry our hearts and we try to make a difference every day and every which way possible. We can never control human behavior, but we can control how we treat those we come in contact with.
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